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[11 Jan 2006|03:28pm] |
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The human thought process is FUNNY. God I hate the mayonnaise breath girl. What a stupid bitch.
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[04 Jan 2006|08:50pm] |
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This is the end of the line, motherfuckers.
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| memory |
[01 Jan 2006|11:38pm] |
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music |
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beethoven - seventh symphony |
] |
i have been feeling really wierd lately. i feel distanced from the friends and interests i had only a few months ago. it's happened so sudden that i'm not sure who i am and what i'm doing. and i don't mean it in the poetic teen identity crisis sense. i just don't feel comfortable anymore and i look at myself way too harshly.
i miss last summer. i miss stealing booze every night with kris. i miss staying out til one in the morning. i miss drunk driving. i miss girls fucking up my emotions. i miss marlboro reds. i miss sarah's mom. i miss empty wedding promises. i miss (notso) immortal friendships. i miss feeling insecure.
i spend way too much time thinking about bullshit. it is difficult to love and to be loved.
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| blood is thicker than water |
[30 Dec 2005|10:34pm] |
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music |
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ghost mice - sing out. |
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i'm really happy that my cousins don't hate me as i thought they did. i still dont know about my uncle, but i really dont care about him very much because he's an idiotic asshole.
i'm done with pot and with booze and with cigarettes. at least for now because i really don't like the feeling of being high or with being drunk, and cigarettes just seem stupid to me lately. i would like to live a more concious life from here on out, and be able to focus more on music and such. i'm not against having a good time with the help of drugs or alchohol, but i just dont want it for myself anymore.
i've started to buy inventory for a record store/practice space i plan to open in the next couple years. i'm tired of our unorganized and unhelpful shitty music stores in this town. my mom is amazingly supporting me in this endeavor of sure unsuccess.
sam is coming home tomorrow from hawaii and i'm pretty excited.
ps. thank you kris for saving my ass once again
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| christmas and such |
[26 Dec 2005|06:42pm] |
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music |
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david dondero - pied piper of the flying rats |
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well. i'm back in bakersfield after a week of being with my dad and family. it was nice to see everybody, but man was it boring. my dad bought me a new guitar case and a REAL razor for christmas. i'm happy. i'm going to shave with my new razor tomorrow morning. (i've never had anything but vons brand disposable razors since i started shaving. they suck.)
i gave up a lot of things for the new year before the new year actually has started. i feel good. i've been writing a lot of music lately, which is pretty sweet. me and david need to finish the split we talked about doing, but never started because we're both lazy. david, come over!
i still haven't bought sammy anything for christmas, but she's in hawaii so who gives a shit. i'm still an awesome boyfriend.
i'm going to kernville tomorrow and staying the night so i can help my grandpa with some stuff and to go fishing. i'll be back in town the next day and i expect to hang out with some cool humans before school begins once again. whee.
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| HA!!! |
[18 Dec 2005|05:27pm] |
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music |
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murder city devils |
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tomorrow i'm catching the train and going to ukiah for christmas break.
smell you later.
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| last night |
[17 Dec 2005|08:04am] |
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last night was long needed
trevor, chad, me
hookah and smoked filled bubbles
a new trapper hat
talk of creating music together again
like old times..
i saw king kong the other day with sam
it was pretty rad
except that it lasted over three hours
a movie should never be that long
i have to go to shafter today
time for a shower.
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| here is now |
[14 Dec 2005|07:39pm] |
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music |
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guiseppe verdi |
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and i hope that when it's all said and done
i won't be too far from these oilfields
and the rest of this drab town;
it's not drab all the time
looking at old photographs
of friends smiling and holding hands
we're all going nowhere
but sure as hell we're getting there in style
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| wake up and taste the flavor |
[12 Dec 2005|04:17pm] |
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every day i get really annoyed with my english class. the big headed AP students are filled to the brim with bullshit. every single one of them has the same personality and every single one of them are probably going to end up a lot richer than i. where does it end?
i'm really looking forward to the holidays and all the time i can spend away from jerks. on the 18th i'm getting paid for the shafter gig and i'm thinking about buying the sennheiser mic i've been looking at. on saturday my step dad bought me a sweet takamine acoustic guitar. its tone is rich and beautiful and its appearance is plain and dull. i love it.
the fog has rolled in and it makes me happy.
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| More Confidence. |
[10 Dec 2005|01:32pm] |
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mood |
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 coffee stains. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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leonard cohen |
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I'm starting to get some interesting musical attention all of a sudden. I was asked to play bass in a Christmas musical at some church in Delano for two hundred dollars. A day later I got a phone call and was asked to start rehearsing with some 40 year olds who play bluesy rock around the area. It's boosted my sense of self worth a little bit.
Sam came over last night and met my crazed heathen family. She loved them and they loved her. We went to John's Incredible Pizza and rode go-carts. We also ate some pizza (crazy).
Abrubt halt to your lies
Cynical warrior
Fiery passion allegedly died
Hanged in the gallows
pleased to make your acquaintance
I'll not be your ninth canvas
Conspiring against the next defense
one, mail the parcel
two, stop the car
three, show the love
four, shoot the dove
five, swim the lake
six, eat the cake
seven, for Mary's sake
Take a walk
Put down the drink
sometimes three chords and half a page of words express your thoughts very effectively. sometimes complete silence does the job. I need to start playing shows again.
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| Aerosmith. |
[10 Dec 2005|10:57am] |
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music |
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Paul Baribeau |
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I got floor tickets to the Aerosmith and Lenny Kravitz show in February. I'm pretty happy.
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| Song Idea? |
[05 Dec 2005|10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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split! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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big country |
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I'm falling out of the ordinary
into her stormy sea
I don't need a boat
Cause I can just float
My heart is inflated
and like a waterwing
it helps me stay on the surface
I need to dive below
I need to dive below
We used our fingers
to push the seed into the soil
Gotta watch it blossom
Gotta watch it grow
Gotta get real high
Before we can get down low
I fell down hard
And I cracked my skull
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| AKLSJAHD. |
[05 Dec 2005|04:43pm] |
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To Do List
1. Clean room/figure out the source to the foul smell
2. Wash clothing
3. Shave beard off
4. Brush teeth (just for the sake of making a list.)
5. Play jazz show at DeMello Hall @ 7 o'clock
6. Make a pot of coffee and complete homework, which consists of...
US history:
Board Chart & Review Questions 11-20
Board Questions & define terms
Board Chart & term examples
Ch12 sec1 Outline, #1
Ch12 sec2 Outline
English:
Research paper topic
3 page apology essay
Make-up exam
Chemistry:
Balancing Equations #2 Worksheet
Ion Test Worksheet
Notebook #6
Make-up exam
p250,251 #25-31, read p219-229
Moles worksheet
My day has been shitty, and it looks as though it will finish out shittily. One things for sure though, and that is I'm pretty fucking happy.
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| clear |
[04 Dec 2005|10:24pm] |
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Yeah, it's pretty fucking awesome.
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| all your thoughts, they rock |
[03 Dec 2005|09:16pm] |
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music |
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ugly casanova |
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I have recently had a renewed feeling of how amazing life is. I want to snuggle up into a sleeping bag somewhere in yosemite amidst evergreens. A river would be nice. I want to be somewhere away from here for a few weeks.
Sam is really an amazing human being. I met her parents last night and her mom likes me. I feel pretty damn good when I'm with her. Soft lips and a velvet tongue. Deep conversation.
I've been writing a lot of new music lately. Expressing emotion and humanity grows in complexity each day. Easier? Tomorrow I want to hang out with Sarah and Kris.
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| needle in the hay |
[01 Dec 2005|04:08pm] |
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music |
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elliott smith |
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i like this weather and i do believe i'm going to grow my beard out.
p.s. mango lemonade is very good.
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tylerfleenor's journal